Why This Site
Make no mistake, the primary reason I started this site is for me. I hold no illusion people will come clamouring to visit in order to see what words of wisdom, or otherwise, I might post. Still, the effort exerted to start and maintain this means I place some degree of value in it. While the answer itself isn't entirely clear even to me, I have spent a fair amount of time thinking about it.
I suppose the reason, or at least some of it, is twofold.
First, I firmly believe everyone has a voice and the freedom to use it. One day while looking at my facebook feed it struck me I didn't always want to read thoughts or ideas of others at that particular moment. Maybe I just wanted to quickly check-in to see photos for instance. I'm certainly glad people express what they feel a need to, but I prefer to have more control over when or if I see it. My hope is if people want to explore a bit deeper with what is going on with me, they have the option to visit this site rather than me filling up their news feed.
Perhaps more importantly though is something that struck me at church recently. As happens from time to time, my mind wandered (or perhaps was inspired) during the sermon and I started thinking about accountability. Professionally I'm held accountable by performance standards and goals. Even when it comes to exercising I track miles run and food eaten all in hopes of improving the quality and quantity of life. In both those areas, I have tangible information in which to review and see how I am doing. But, how am I keeping track of ensuring I am living in such a way that is important to me? Trying to live that kind of meaningful existence everyday is great, but unless there is context around the effort, how do we know how we're really doing? Now, don't get me wrong. This is not some sort of scorecard or spiritual tally sheet. This is not a replacement for Grace. But if I share, reflect and evaluate here, it may just provide insight I might not otherwise have. Making it public just puts pressure on me to actually do it.
Or then again, maybe it's just a place to make fun of KU football. I can go either way.
The Story Behind my Songs
If The Morning Never Came
This was officially the first song I ever wrote including both the music and lyrics. I had dabbled a bit prior to this with lyrics, but had not yet tried my hand at putting together an original tune. Then, as luck would have it, one late night after having been out with friends I was flipping through the TV channels and came across a very bad Rick Springfield movie. As if mentioning him doesn't date me enough, naming the movie will - "Hard to Hold" I don't even remember the story line, but I do remember thinking about his onscreen relationship I was watching. I think it was the story of he and the girl being from different worlds and struggling to remain together. I couldn't help but think, if the morning never came they would never breakup. About 20 minutes later I had written all the lyrics and soon after finished the music.
At 30,000 feet I was looking out the window from my airplane seat thinking about the weekend I had just spent visiting a friend living in Houston. Just prior, I had missed my flight and found myself stuck at the Intercontinental airport. Not being able to reach my friend, I called the girl I met the night before and had exchanged phone numbers with. Having a few hours to kill before the next flight, she picked me up and gave me a tour of Houston before heading home. I had so much fun it inspired me to write the song about our embellished relationship on my flight home.
I had just finished graduate school getting my MBA, and was working retail while looking for my "real" job. I had a fun group of friends from the high end department store we were all working at and often (meaning always) would go out after work. All knew I was involved in the local music scene a bit, and one in particular challenged me to write a song using her favorite adjective at the time "crazy". That incentive, plus some imagination, led to the hook "I want to spend another crazy night with you".
What really brought the song to life is the vocal by Charles Waltz who also played with Shooting Star.
No one specific event led to writing this song. It was probably just a culmination of previous relationships and wanting to write a power ballad which was very popular at the time. I remember the studio engineer commenting while recording, he could just imagine Nancy Wilson of Heart kicking up her leg and cranking out the bass line in the chorus!